It’s not something that’s easy to talk about, but I do have to finally break a months long silence on my absence, people keep messaging about it and I can’t bring myself to respond to them.
I think people underestimate how difficult- and time consuming comics are. For this series, it’s a one-woman job, I have to brainstorm, write, sketch, ink and color (plus endless proofreading) to get the quality I want (and the quality I think you guys deserve) all by myself, but recently, time for making the comic has been reduced, i have to focus on classes, and pay for rent, but the weight of all the responsibilities have come down crushing me and I wonder if I can do it at this time.
My mental health recently has also often times taken increasingly sharp turns for the worst, i’m less talkative and social, and often times my thoughts have gotten increasingly dark, bleak, isolated, and hopeless, and resulted in brief- but very intense mental breakdowns… some of which ended in self harm, and I had to break the silence on that to people close to me, and try to seek help so it could not result in anything worse.
I want things to be good- but they aren’t, I want to be the person that I want to be- but I’m not yet, I want to be able to churn stuff out regularly- but I can’t, and it’s hard to do anything when you feel like a disappointment to everyone.
I will finish this issue, and rework anything to the comic I think is flawed, I have a story to write and tell, and want everyone to see it, no matter what it takes, I will get this entire series done and won’t settle for anything less than what I want.
帰ってきます。
